Tuesday I flew into Denver and hopped on a 90 minute shuttle to the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs. I was approved to stay at the center starting on 8/30, but I bought a plane ticket for the 25th.  I found a spare bedroom to rent out by posting a housing wanted ad on craigslist, and luckily the house was just three blocks from the OTC campus. I was on top of my housing situation, but finding food and making sure I was allowed to use the training center weren’t priorities in my mind until I was about 30 minutes from campus. After a couple quick phone calls I managed to get Jillian Petersen to give me a ride to the grocery store while I waited for my paperwork to be processed for facility access.

After I got settled in, went for a bike/run brick and began my diet of beans and rice (nutritious, delicious and economical), I passed out at 8pm and slept for 11 hours. It was glorious. Then Wednesday I did exactly the same thing, only without the travel, Thursday repeat, plus a good swim workout. By Friday I started to feel recovered from all the fun I was having (and sleep I wasn’t) back in Seattle. I saw the doc at Sports Med and had my wrist re-X-Rayed (it’s healing really well), and put together a plan with the med team for lots and lots of personal attention. I love all the PTs, LMTs, Docs and such that I see in Seattle, but there is definitely something to be said for being 400 meters away from their offices and being able to drop in whenever I feel like it.

Mike Done, coach of Andy Potts and Brian Fleischmann is coaching the swim practices here, which was a good surprise for me. I have high standards for swim coaches, and from what I’ve seen, Mike is great at his job. This week he’s helping me figure out how to get back into a regular swimming routine without jeopardizing the healing of my broken wrist.

I finished off the week with my first USADA drug test. It was exciting, and a little intimidating. Two guys came into my host house and ask for me. They explain the procedure and then ask me to give them 90mL of urine in a sterile cup. Unfortunately, despite not having used the toilet in a couple hours, I had terrible stage fright. I will be the first to admit that I lack a normal human being’s modesty, but something about lifting my shirt and pulling my pants down to pee in front of a stranger made my bladder harder to empty than the oil in Alaska. It was like this:

First Try:

I knew I needed to pee before the USADA guys showed up, so I offered to go right away. No dice. After standing in front of the monitor for a couple minutes trying to imagine running water, he told me we could go relax and try again in a little while. We sat in the living room for about 40 minutes while I drank copious amounts of water. My belly ached and I decided I was ready for

Second Try:

similar to the first try, only I was pushing so hard I let out a bit of gas – a few times. My face turned red with embarrassment and the monitor offered that I sit down as if I were “having a bowel movement, if that might help.” I sat and tried more. A dribble filled the bottom of the cup – 5mL – only 85mL to go!

I gave up and we went back into the living room. I drank more water and the men suggested I eat some food and follow my normal routine. So, more beans and rice (the root cause of my flatulence I’m sure), and more water. I relaxed a bit with food in my stomach and tried to make small talk with the USADA guys. They were really nice, and after a few more minutes of awkward conversation my bladder called me up to warn that the dam was nearing capacity. So 90 minutes after USADA arrived I went for my

Third Try:

We walked into the bathroom, closed the door, took out a sterile cup, dropped my pants, lifted my shirt, faced my new friend and let it rip. The cup was full in two seconds, but I wasn’t done yet. My bladder was like the energizer bunny. So after making these poor guys wait for me to pee all evening, I made them wait a while longer while I kept peeing.

Hopefully next time will go a little more smoothly..

The past week has been way too much fun for me to think about feeling sorry for myself. The USAT Endurance Mobile Tour (run by my friends Rory and Mojdah) has been camping out at my house, and my friends Trish and Matt flew in to join the fun. I haven’t been sleeping a lot, but my cycling and running volumes are backup to respectable, even competitive levels. I’m also becoming a much better sailor.  I love lists, so here’s one with a bunch of links to the various blogs that have been written from my house over the past few days:

• From Trish, a ultra-running PhD student at U of Texas who is studying tripping. She posted pictures of food and fly fishing. I preferred the awesome food from Portage Bay Cafe to the fly fishing (I lost two flies in the rocks.)
• From Rory, who has been driving around Seattle with me trying to find a local sponsorship for 2010. In exchange I’ve been dragging him around Lake Washington on a wakeboard and in an inner tube.
• From Courtenay, who spent the weekend winning Seattle’s biggest triathlon, the Danskin Women’s Triathlon. Somehow a single gender race manages to have 5500 women (and it sold out in 2 days).
• The Endurance Mobile Tour, who were at the finish line selling all the gear those 5500 women needed.

I met Sheila Taormina. She’s my new favorite Olympian (no offense to Victor and Marijana and the Kirk Sisters, you’re great too). I found her sitting on the floor outside the Danskin Expo waiting for a ride. A minute later I was pouring my heart out to her for advice. The gist of it: injury is a time to recover and become stronger, and it gives you the time to focus on giving back to the people around you.

Thanks to everyone for the kind words on my last post. I’m sure I’ll get through this, and somehow be better for it. At least I have some friends coming to town this week to take take my mind off fractures.

I heard a rumor that on Sunday channel 7 news used a stock clip of me from last fall, where I was ducking under caution tape to keep running past a land slide on the bike trail. My sister saw it, and told me, but didn’t have her Tivo running. I remember the camera crew, they were filming around Thanksgiving.

Also, I heard the last issue of Northwest Runner Magazine had an article with a picture of me titled something to the effect of “Can really expensive gear make you as fast as Ben Collins?” This issue, unfortunately, was no longer available when I heard about it.

The upbeat, happy-go-lucky tone I have tried to force myself into with my sporadic and sometimes uninspired blog posts has finally run out. I don’t know if my current state of mind is typical of an athlete on my chosen path, but these past few months have been quite trying.

In May, the last time I was able to race, my results showed continued improvement, and even an acceleration toward my goal of racing, and beating, the best triathletes in the world. Unfortunately, due to a lack of flexibility training (yoga and stretching) and running too much too soon, I was diagnosed with a stress reaction in my hip. This was actually good news because by the time I was able to see the doctor, I had already run myself onto crutches. I was afraid of stress fracture or worse.

I spent June water running and taking care of my laundry list of non-triathlon related endeavors. My attitude was still pretty good, and I was hoping to be back in time to race the Seafair Triathlon (a big local sprint) in mid July. That didn’t happen. I was running, but figured it wasn’t worth the risk without proper preparation (I hadn’t done any intensity on land.) I was bummed to be relegated to a relay at Seafair, but my spirits were still high. I decided to focus on US Pro Nationals, August 22nd. I was done with Biochemistry, enjoying a great Seattle summer, learning to brew kombucha, sailing, watching bald eagles mate while water running across Lake Washington (they cling together in midair and freefall), and spending a good amount of time swimming fast.

Last week my hopeful attitude took another low blow. I took a tumble from the saddle at the end of a training ride. It was one of those low speed falls that end up hurting your body and ego in equal amounts. My wrist was fractured; my hope of competing at US Nationals broken with it.

I’m trying to find a silver lining. A lesson that will make me better. All I can really think of are all the worthwhile life paths I could be on that wouldn’t involve so many lonely setbacks. If I had taken an engineering job when I had the chance, or become involved in Seattle’s transportation planning (still a passion of mine), then a broken wrist would be the least of my worries. My tendency to overwork myself would meet greater success and more productivity, and I would be striving for something that actually makes a difference in the world. The last point is what’s really been bothering me.

I struggle with this even while I’m healthy, but when I’m racing and doing well I can focus on the highs and the love I have for athletic pursuits. The purity of it quiets my fears. When I’m injured I feel worthless. I’m not contributing to society in any measurable way. Sure, I can help market my sponsors, maybe sell some triathlon gear, and coach some people, but I’m not changing the world. Am I suffering the delusion of youth to think I even have that kind of capability? To make life better for people? If not, then am I wasting my time pushing for a selfish goal of personal excellence? If it is a delusion then what can I accomplish? What am I capable of? Does potential lie in something off the field? Where this much work won’t be eliminated by a broken bone? Am I doing the right thing? Why am I a professional triathlete?

More than 115,000 people received the summer issue of Triathlon Life magazine this week. If that includes you, flip to the gear spread near the back. There’s a cute picture of me above a pink man-suit, the Garmin Forerunner 310xt, and a Blue Seventy Helix wetsuit.

Next to the Splish suit is a paraphrase of what I remember saying, but it’s much funnier than I could have said it myself. It says , “My girlfriend gave me a suit with a pink unicorn on    the front, but I also like the hearts and flower patterns.” It goes on to mention that you can make suits that do not cry out fairy-tale princess, but lacks any examples. Here are a few of the “manly” designs I really like.