There’s a group of students that frequents the track on a similar schedule to my own. They normally walk the outer lanes in pairs and a few of them have faculty chaperones. I run by and they wave, I wave back, we make funny faces at each other as I pass, exchange a “hello!” or sometimes just make weird noises and grunts at each other. Everyone seems pleased with these interactions. These are the special education kids, and they’re the only high school students I know who actually think I’m cool.

The other high school students I see regularly are the kids at swim practice. “Cool” is not a word that any of them would use to describe me. Saturday I was introduced to a new kid. “This is Ben, he’s really old, kind of funny, and he has lots of hair.” As far as I can tell there are only two people on the team that look up to me. One who goes to the same high school I went to and was recently accepted to Columbia University (he’s obviously destined for greatness) and one who aspires to be a triathlete (also a very smart kid). But alas, looking up to me just reinforces the “really old” descriptor, and further separates me from the coveted “cool” status that I lacked even when I was myself a 17 year old high school student with more pimples than brains. Maybe someday I’ll teach physics and the kids will call me “cool” because I show them a proof that their least favorite teacher falls from the roof at the same rate as the rival school’s mascot.

Anyway, back to the Special Ed kids that actually like me…

Last week I showed up at the track to find my favorite group of students riding tricycles around the track in lane one, and one of their teachers walking around bouncing a basketball in lane one as well. This got me a little irritated. I mean, it’s not the students’ fault, they have no idea that they’re not supposed to be walking in the inside lane, let alone riding bikes!! I made a mental note that the school must be informed of this disgraceful use of our community’s brand new all-weather track, then began warming up in the outside lanes. I was running the opposite direction as the tricyclists, and at about the same speed, so I saw each of them twice a lap. One kid, who was riding by when I rolled up on my shiny Beyond Fabrications speed machine, took an immediate liking to me. As I ran by the first time he waved at me with googlie eyes – I waved back enthusiastically and said “HI!!!”. The second time he blew me a kiss – I waved back again, wondering if I had been too enthusiastic. The third time he waved, blew a kiss, shouted “HELLOO!!” AND gave me the googlie eyes – I definitely had been too enthusiastic, I responded with a mere “hi” and smiled. After that he had to give up his trike to let one of the other students have a turn, and then his PE period was over so he and the others all left. I’m guessing if he were to introduce me to a new kid it would have sounded something like this: “This is Ben, he’s really fast and awesome, and has the sweetest bike that anyone has ever seen, and his afro looks awesome ‘cause he is the COOLEST!!!”

I may never be as cool to any high school kid again, and we didn’t even got to say “BYEEE!!!”

Things are heating up in Seattle, which means it’s time for shutoff valves to stop working on our furnaces. See, in the middle of winter is when the furnace stops working, and when it’s 70 outside, that’s when the heater decides not to turn off anymore – which is exactly what is happening.

My parent’s house has floor heat, where hot water flows under the floorboards and heats the room from the bottom. It’s supposed to be really efficient, but I’m wondering how efficient it is if I have to open all my windows to cool off. I turned the thermostat to ‘”off” about three months ago, but the floor in my room is still so warm that my swim bag radiates heat when I pick it up in the morning. I finally got my dad to agree that ‘tis the season to turn off the boiler entirely, so hopefully that will solve the problem of nighttime sweating, tossing, turning, sweating, and morning dehydration. Plus the utility bill should be a bit smaller.

Turns out the problem is not isolated to home either. This morning I slept in until 5:30am and went with Courtenay to swim at Juanita lap swim. The pool was about 95 degrees, and it felt like swimming in jello. I decided to work on technique, but my muslces were so relaxed that I couldn’t actually get myself into proper form. I floated slowly for about 25 minutes, during which time I found it annoying that other lap swimmers had the nerve to swim faster than 5min per 25 yard pace. This finally ended when I saw Courtenay exit the pool, at which point I jumped at the excuse to leave, got my $3 (which – along with a ride to the pool – I had mooched off Courtenay) back from the lifeguard, and booked it home for some cold water and breakfast.

Two hours later, I’m still burning up from that swim. I may go run topless in 60 degree weather, or swim in Lake Washington, where the water is a pleasant 46 degrees.

Today a cyclist rode by and said, “You’re on the wrong side of the path, moron.” Which is pretty ridiculous, I mean, look at what I was wearing! Would a moron have this kind of fashion sense?

I should explain why I run on the left. When I’m running on the Burke Gilman Trail by my house in Seattle, I always run on the lake side of the trail. This is because there is a dirt path there and I don’t have to run on the paved part with the cyclists. The problem is for the first two miles the dirt path is narrow and sometimes disappears for 10 or 20 meters. I’m not going to go all the way across to the other side for 5 seconds when the dirt path disappears, and then go all the way back across to the path when it reappears, just to appease some “everyone stay to the right on the pavement” moron cyclist crap.

As you can see from what I was told today, some cyclists get really mad that I would have the nerve to run on the left side of the road. Since it’s my blog and I get the final word, I want to point out to the cyclists calling me a moron: my bike is nicer than yours, and I can ride it faster too.

Last week I raced in Miami for the second time. Last year I was up against some heavy hitters, Chris Lieto and Macca, and I ended up earning a second place. This year I brought my own big guns and won. I wish the two Chris’s were back this year, ‘cause I would have certainly given them a better run than a year ago.

The race was pretty straight forward. I swam hard and got a nice lead, which I extended enough over the 18 mile bike course that I was able to cruise the out and back run course and enjoy myself while cheering on the celebrities and athletes with disabilities, who’s waves were starting the run as I headed for the finish line. It was a really fun race, and a nice contrast from the World Cup the week before.

K-Swiss was at the race too, which meant I got to hang out with the most awesome sports marketing group in the sport. They sold 80 pair of shoes in four hours at the race expo! (It’s because everyone that tries on a pair of Keahous falls in love with them. Plus they look cool.)

This weekend (and into this week) I have had an unexpectedly long time without internet. So long that I haven’t even been able to write a blog about how I won Sunday’s Nautica South Beach Triathlon!

[Left: K-Swiss Athletes, Anna Kournikova and the far less famous Ben Collins at the K-Swiss after party]

I’m getting on a plane to Seattle, and I’ll be able to post more when I have a real internet connection (not just a cell phone). The race was really fun, and now I’m really happy to be (finally) going home to Seattle. It’s been since January!

I chose to include “Florida” in my title because when I tried to look up the weather for “Miami” I found that a surprising number of cities share the name (Arizona, Missouri, Indiana and Canada).

This weekend I’ll be racing in the Nautica South Beach Triathlon Presented by Toyota for my second time (Last year it was titled the “Inaugural Nautica South Beach Triathlon Presented by Toyota”).

I’m avoiding actually talking about being in Miami because it’s really a step down from Santos, Honolulu and Mooloolaba. Whoever designed the Miami metropolitan area just didn’t have  cycling running and swimming in mind. There are exceptions to this, of course. The Hall of Fame Pool in Fort Lauderdale, for example, is awesome. And the abundance of uncrowded golf courses make for decent running (if you can avoid being kicked off or hit with a ball). So far, I have not found an exception for cycling. Yesterday I rode circles in a business park for an hour with my friend Jesus (Who is giving me a place to say – in return I’m writing a blog talking trash on his city. He can talk trash on Seattle only after he visits me.). Apparently this particular business park hosts several criteriums and is a well known training center for the local cyclists. I have to admire that dedication – a single week is going to push my limits.

The area is laid out as a giant grid of 50mph boulevards that are half a mile wide and which make it impossible to walk, run or ride to anything. The automobile is king, and those in their automobiles will make you violently aware of that with horns, verbal threats and intentional close calls. Jesus used to ride work, but decided it was too dangerous after the fourth or fifth person told him, “next time I see you I’ll run you over.” He was just riding a bike!

My response to this type of person is normally, “I’m sorry, was my 42cm wide bicycle making it difficult for you to carry around those four empty seats?” But the prevalence of 20,000 ton American branded mega-cars makes me think twice about making these drivers realize their own stupidity. I value my life more than the satisfaction of being right.